Harold the Zombie – Chapter 5


Read Harold the Zombie from the beginning HERE.

From Doctor Igor Frankenstein’s Journal

Today Harold takes a giant step into the great wide world. Today Harold will start Kindergarten. The decision to do this was a very difficult choice. The school lasts for four hours a day, and runs right over lunch. This preschool uses lunch as a way to teach the children how to eat and socialize with other children. A very helpful skill, but not so helpful when one of the children is a zombie and eats human brains.

How do we explain this to the teachers? While being a Zombie is a recognized birth defect, it’s not a very common one. Also, thanks to TV and movies, most people see Zombies as something to be feared. Most people fear those things they do not understand, and a Zombie is certainly something many people do not, and would not understand.

If knowledge of Harold’s condition were to become public I would guess it would take a matter of a week before every student in his class was pulled out by their parents. That would lead to the school asking politely for Harold to be removed from the class, and that would defeat our very purpose of enrolling him in the first place. We all want this to be a good experience. I myself am excited to observe how a Zombie reacts under social conditions. Every Zombie I have ever had the opportunity to dissect has been a reclusive creature. Living and hiding far away from mankind. I have always wondered if this is because their brains are incapable of handling social situations. The more likely explanation is the Zombies themselves are afraid. Afraid of themselves, rejections, hatred, fear.

Harold I imagine will be able to handle social situations fine, but as he grows and knowledge of his condition is told to others I wonder how he will handle the stress. Both his parents and I have agreed to only share his condition with other when it is absolutely needed. After that it will be up to Harold who he will choose to tell. Will he ever date, fall in love, and tell her? How will he react to it? How will she react to the news? I say this because one of the things I am most interested to know is how Zombies perform sexually. Autopsies show that Zombies are fully capable, and it is theorized they can even produce children. This fascinates me!

I am getting off on a tangent here. Back to the present, Harold entering pre-school. We took care of the lunch problem letting Harold eat normal food during pre-school. The plan is to feed him a large breakfast and dinner. Our hope is this won’t affect his energy levels, but for Harold’s sake, and for the sake of my observations I see no other way.

“What are you eating?” one of the children in Harold’s class was looking at Harold’s lunch box which sat open, but uneaten.

“I’m not eating anything. My Mom packed my lunch and didn’t really pack anything I normally eat.” Harold said.

The child, who was craning his neck to see inside Harold’s lunch box, was eating a baloney sandwich with a small bag of lays potato chips, and thermos of something.

“Can I see?” The boy said.

“Sure.” Harold said.

Harold slid the lunch box over to the small boy. The boy’s eyes went wide when he saw what was in Harold’s lunch box.

“Your Mom lets you eat skittles, peanut butter cups, and pizza for lunch?”

“Not generally, but she felt bad that she couldn’t pack me what I normally eat, so I think she packed me this to make up for it.”

“What do you normally eat?”

“Well for lunch I usually have a big cup of blood, and then I eat some meat.”

After a second the small boy just started laughing. “That’s really funny. You’re really funny. Nobody drinks blood, except my brother tells me Vampire drink blood, but I don’t believe in Vampires. My names Barton, what’s yours?”

“I’m Harold.”

“Hi Harold. I don’t know why, but when my Daddy meets people they hold hands and shake them.”

With that Barton extended his hand out towards Harold. Harold looked at Barton weird.

“Why do they do that?”

“I don’t know, but my Daddies pretty smart, so it has to be important.”

“OK, I guess so.” Harold said.

Harold took Barton’s hand and the two of them started shaking the arms and hands as hard as they could.

“Ummm How long are we supposed to shake like this?” Harold asked

“I really don’t know, but I am ok if we stop now.” Barton said.

Both of the boys stopped shaking, and looked at each other for a brief moment before starting to laugh.

“Adults are so weird.” Barton said.

“I know.” Harold blurted out between spouts of intense laughter

“It’s almost as funny as you saying you drink blood and eat brains.” Barton said laughing even harder.

Read Chapter 6 HERE

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